By Cucan Pemo
Do you dread the evenings when you are alone together because you know all you are going to do is fight? Often times, couples bicker and argue over the smallest things in life, and it is all a part of getting to know each other, and surviving a relationship. Every day you find it is a constant battle over who didn’t put soap in the shower, or who is going to pick up the children from day care, or where the money is coming from to pay the gas bill this month. The small things you argue about everyday can be twisted to put a positive aspect on the relationship.
Think about what you are really fighting about
What are the real topics that you fight about? Are you arguing about small things in the home, that can be changed, or looked over – that are really down right insignificant when you think about it? When you find you argue about small things in life and in the home, it could be in your best interest to compromise and get passed these things for a healthy relationship. A man is going to feel a need to be the boss, to be in charge, and sometimes giving into the small things in life is going to put a positive twist on the entire relationship. The important thing to realize though, is to realize when enough is enough and a man is not always going to get his ‘way’.
Some small things in life are going to be in your best interest to get over, change and put behind you. For example, perhaps he argues with you every day about what type of bread you have in the house, or what type of soap you are using, or the type of perfume you use – change these things and put an end to the bickering as you focus on more important things in life. Sure, you love the green soap, while he loves the blue. One of the easiest things you can do in life is purchase both types of soap, so you have want you like, and he has what he likes all the time.
The couple that never fights, and never argues, never grows to the next stage in a relationship
In a relationship, no matter if you are married or if you living together, is a relationship that will go through many stages of growth. The growing stages are going to include the times when you and your man will fight and argue.
This is a point where you will be testing the waters, to ‘see’ if you are compatible and if the two of your are going to be ‘able’ to make compromises to continue on in the relationship. While minor fights are going to be easy to over come the secret to over coming major fights, major battles in the relationship is this: don’t say anything you don’t mean – or that you can’t take back. Spiteful and hurtful words are going to stay with your relationship for years to come. Only say those things during a fight that you truly mean.
It will be difficult to get passed the arguing stages of your relationship but you can do it. Both you and your man will have to think about why you are arguing, and what the consequences are going to be if both of your don’t stop the constant arguing and bickering. The more you talk about subjects and things that matter to both of you, the closer the two of you will come in the relationship. If you were to never talk, and never communicate, the fighting and the bickering is going to get worse. Arguing is method of communicating needs and wants, for both you and your man. Without communicating, the arguing is going to continue.
Start by telling your husband just one thing a day
The one thing a day could be anything about your life, about the children, or about the world. As you learn to make conversations with your man, you will be teaching him the two of you have many things to learn and share. You don’t have to come right out and tell your man that you are going to share one thing a day with him, but just do it. As you become more comfortable talking to your man, and you find him easier to approach about subjects, this is going to open that door so he in turn is going to tell you things about his life, about what he needs and wants as well.
A relationship without communication and without talking to each other is just two people living together and existing together. Communicating is sharing your lives, sharing your dreams, your fears and your ‘wants’ for the relationship. Tell your man about a dream vacation, suggest that the two of your go and do something together, or perhaps you can tell your man about where you would hope to live someday – these are all topics used to ‘get to know’ each other all over again, and talking about them will help your relationship grow.
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